We are fortunate to have five military spouses on the Hawaii VA Loans team: Jennifer, Kelsey, Mallory, Amber, and Sandra. Including myself (Erin), that makes six! Military spouses are a diverse group of individuals who have varying approaches to how they handle the military’s challenges, navigate its ebbs and flows, and even the level at which they immerse themselves in it. No one approach or one story can define all military spouses, for this I am sure. However, I do believe there is one word that can characterize those who have lived the military spouse lifestyle throughout our country’s history. That word is: resilient. 

A resilient person is defined as one who can restand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. Now, a “difficult condition” is subjective. Exposure to such conditions and the human resiliency that results from them can be applied to multiple life experiences outside of the military, such as poverty and illness. What makes someone resilient? Well, it has been studied that resiliency factors in humans can be innate or learned. In a way, during this time of COVID19, one can learn from (or relate to) what military spouses experience in terms of the uncertainty and strenuous conditions associated with service to one’s country. Perhaps we can find some parallels between the military spouse experience and the feelings surrounding the coronavirus and its timeline. 

For example, the following questions can be asked:

  • When will the quarantine/social distancing/military deployment end?
  • Will my loved one be safe from the virus/the military missions they are sent on? 

When a service member leaves their family for months at a time, military spouses often live with great worry and anxiety about whether their service member is in harm’s way. One of the most significant frustrations a military spouse can face is when their loved one is expected to come home. How? Well, even when military units, ships, or squadrons are slated to return from deployments, their homecoming dates are often pushed back by days, weeks, and even months. It has also been the case that servicemembers must unexpectedly leave again and redeploy only after a short time at home.

These last minute and sudden changes can feel frustrating and unending, especially when a military spouse is anticipating a return to “normalcy.” Daily life can feel lonely, isolating, and stressful when managing work and family responsibilities all alone. Yet, military spouses continually find the strength within themselves to get through the time apart and/or reach out for additional support from other spouses, family members, and connections within their communities. 

Maybe by having the knowledge of what military spouses experience in their lives, individuals can be inspired during this time of COVID19 to persevere through the unknown, the worry, the delays, and the setbacks by digging into their own sense of resiliency and never losing hope for the best outcome. For when that day comes, the relief and joy will be unmatched. It is one of the benefits of life as a military spouse – to be able to experience the full gamut of human emotions and thus be keenly aware of what true happiness feels like.

Now, let’s return our attention to our military spouse team members! Each one has generously shared interesting facts about their lives, insights about military life and of course, achieving the goal of VA loan home buying in Hawaii!

Favorite Thing About Living in Hawaii:

A lot! I moved to Hawaii before meeting my husband and lived on Maui for 4 years. I then moved to Oahu and lived on Oahu for 4 years. I enjoy being outside hiking and going to the beach.

The Most Challenging Part of Military Life:

Moving to different places and not knowing anyone.

Advice to a Military Spouse Just Beginning:

Find a job where you can work from home and remotely, so that when you do move from place to place, you can retain your job. Most companies do not want to hire a military spouse because we move every 3-4 years. If you do want to work and have a job, one that you can do no matter where you are located is key!

Thoughts on Hawaii Home Buying Using the VA Loan Program:

A VA home loan offers benefits that a Veteran can take advantage of nationwide, but here in Hawaii, purchase prices are very high so being VA eligible and having the ability to put 0% down payment will save you A LOT of money. 

A Myth About VA Home Loans:

That you can only use your VA eligibility once or that it will expire if you got out of the military a long time ago. Not true!

Important Piece of Home Buying or Financial Advice:

Save money to prepare for your VA loan purchase. Even though you are not required to put a down payment, having savings is essential because when you own a home there are sometimes unforeseen expenses and having savings can make the transition from renting to owning easier. 

Favorite Thing About Living in Hawaii:

My favorite thing about living in Hawaii was the weather and also the ability to go to the beach and hike any time of the year.

The Most Challenging Part of Military Life:

The most challenging part of military life is being away from family and missing big events such as weddings, graduations, etc.

What You’ve Learned About Yourself as a Military Spouse:

I’ve learned that I can’t control everything and to try to make the best out of the situation.

Advice to a Military Spouse Just Beginning:

Be flexible and positive!

Thoughts on Hawaii Home Buying Using the VA Loan Program:

The VA home loan program is a great resource for home buying. It allows Veterans to purchase a home with no down payment!

A Myth About VA Home Loans:

That you can only use your VA home benefit once. (See our blog post on remaining entitlement.)

Important Piece of Home Buying or Financial Advice:

Find a local loan officer and lender!

Favorite Quote Related to Home Buying or Personal Finances:

“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” – Dave Ramsey

Favorite Thing About Living in Hawaii:

The friends we made and the beaches!

A Rumor About Living in Hawaii That’s Not True:

The cost of living is “too high”… As long as you are wise with your budget, the COLA and BAH can allow you to live comfortably and experience “island life.”

The Most Challenging Part of Military Life:

Leaving my friends, but also, now that I have children of my own, watching them leave their friends. Nothing pulls at my heart like watching my kids have tears in their eyes not knowing when the next time they’ll see their best friends again. 

What You’ve Learned About Yourself as a Military Spouse:

It forces you to become independent which is very rare in today’s society. I think that is something to be proud of because we truly don’t know when there will be a need to make hard decisions by ourselves or solve some of life’s problems on our own. 

Advice to a Military Spouse Just Beginning:

Find a good group of friends because those friends will become your stand-in husband, last minute babysitter, shoulder to lean on, and honestly your only family you will be around for several years more than likely. 

Thoughts on Hawaii Home Buying Using the VA Loan Program:

It never hurts to see what your BAH can afford you in Hawaii. No one enjoys throwing away money each month on rent, so if you can invest in the few short years you’re in Hawaii, then why not?

A Myth About VA Home Loans:

I still believe there are quite a few servicemembers who assume you still have to put a down payment. 

Important Piece of Home Buying or Financial Advice:

Always make your payments on time and if there is an emergency that comes up, reach out to the creditor ASAP to see if any arrangements can be made. Better to ask for forgiveness instead of permission does NOT apply to your credit! 

Favorite Quote Related to Home Buying or Personal Finances:

You have to use it or you lose it. Positive credit history, when used correctly, can save you lots of money down the road in interest rates!

Favorite Thing About Living in Hawaii:

I was born and raised here. I love everything about Hawaii: the views, beach, food and family!

A Rumor About Living in Hawaii That’s Not True:

We don’t need to eat rice with every meal. LOL

The Most Challenging Part of Military Life:

I think when you have children the hardest thing for me was being away from home and not having help.

What You’ve Learned About Yourself as a Military Spouse:

I learned that I never thought I would miss home as much as I did when we were living in Virginia, especially when you have kids. I always thought I could do it, but once we had them I just wanted to come home for the extra support. 

Advice to a Military Spouse Just Beginning:

It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

Important Piece of Home Buying or Financial Advice:

I’m not a homeowner yet, but it is a big step and everyone that buys a home in Hawaii should feel proud!

Favorite Quote Related to Home Buying or Personal Finances:

It’s not how big the house is, it’s how happy the home is.

Favorite Thing About Living in Hawaii:

The culture for sure! The island, sand, ocean, vegetation, and the Aloha spirit!

A Rumor About Living in Hawaii That’s Not True:

That Hawaiians do not like you. They do, all they ask is that you respect the Island and be Aloha.

The Most Challenging Part of Military Life:

Employment seeking. Friends can always be made and kept.

What You’ve Learned About Yourself as a Military Spouse:

You are vital in the family. You are what keeps the family together and should help and support other families that just might need your help as well. Everyone needs a friend – a fellow spouse to help bounce ideas off of and support you when your spouse is gone for deployment, schooling or elsewhere.

Advice to a Military Spouse Just Beginning:

Listen to experienced spouses and have a friend.

Thoughts on Hawaii Home Buying Using the VA Loan Program:

Not many know their buying potential and are scared or don’t have time to research it. Benefits are there for a reason and should be used for your service to our country. The ability to purchase a piece of paradise and not pay anyone else’s mortgage – it is yours and you are able to do what you’d like to it! Homeowner 1 – Landlord 0

Important Piece of Home Buying or Financial Advice:

Know what you qualify for. If you have to get a credit card, you probably don’t need what you are buying.

Favorite Thing About Living in Hawaii:

Everything about the weather and landscape, but also for me, it’s an intangible feeling that hasn’t been matched living anywhere else.

A Rumor About Living in Hawaii That’s Not True:

That it’s too difficult to buy a home. You may have to sacrifice certain wants and desires, and adjust your lens a bit, but it’s more than possible if that’s your goal.

The Most Challenging Part of Military Life:

It’s unpredictable. The military loves throwing curve balls!

What You’ve Learned About Yourself as a Military Spouse:

I’m more of an introvert by nature, and in the military’s very social community, it took me some time to embrace that rather than trying to be someone that I’m not.

Advice to a Military Spouse Just Beginning:

Buckle up!

Thoughts on Hawaii Home Buying Using the VA Loan Program:

Simply the best opportunity in home buying that I’ve come across.

A Myth About VA Home Loans:

You have to have served twenty years or some long amount of time to be eligible for a VA home loan.

Important Piece of Home Buying or Financial Advice:

Save and zero out your credit card debt each month.

Favorite Quote Related to Home Buying or Personal Finances:

“Real estate is an imperishable asset, ever increasing in value. It is the most solid security that human ingenuity has devised. It is the basis for all security and about the only indestructible security.” – Russell Sage